What Am I?

Am I the Slave?
Am I the King?
or am I the desert Wind?
A stone in my own shoes,
A cancer under my skin?

Am I an Object of Intention
or failed experimentation?
Your proclaimed Master piece
or an unexpected complication?
An answer to your loneliness
A result of Adam’s transgression?

“Let man in the image of God, be made”
Did You not know, what it entailed?
Subjected to Your tests and Satan’s deceit
Entangled is a mortal, trying to make ends meet
What is this test, What is my creed?
Does it justify the pain, suffering and greed?

I prayed to you, and I did prostate
Fasted the fasts and Qayam al Layl
Why do You need praise? I am amazed
Is that not enough, that You know You’re Great

You taught me to reason and exercise my brain
But attempts to comprehend You, have all gone in vain
If your guidance is eternal, beyond doubt and precise
Why did You abandon us, in the present times?
I’m sorry, I don’t get your divine plan
Dear God, make me understand


3 responses to “What Am I?

  1. I suggest that you listen to the tafsir on nouman ali khan on bayyinah.Com. In the media section. Its a mind blowing and intellectual tafseer. I personally have had some of these questions . However, i have come away a believer. I think your questions are questions that often arise to many of us in the world we live in today.

    I feel from what u have written on the website that you have read from oriental sources. Also you are judging the sunnah by your own intellect, not according to the norms of their day. Nobody from the society at that time for instance had a problem with Muhammad saw marrying aisha. Also, she was not abused, or not allowed to have a childhood. Rather she had friends and had playdates as is evident in hadith. Also, from a very strategic point of view, she having grown up in the prophet’s household from a young age with a sharp mind proved to be a prolific narrtor of hadith. The years she spent with prophet…those years are ones when our memory is very sharp compared to later years.

    I believe that you have many preconceived notions of things and that is why you came to the conclusions u did, because from what u wrote, i see orientalist arguments on yur page.

    If your mother gives u evvverything in life and is capable of doing that and is self sufficient, she doesnT NEED your praise or thanks but you being a child of hers..if u dont thank her, the onus of thanks is on you. To God belongs the highest example. If a person is not grateful for the things God has given them, are they good?

    God is free of need, He does not need my worwhip or your worship but IF you wish to go to his jannah, there is a deal. Accept the deal, you go to jannah. Dont acept it, and you can go to the fire.

    jannah is not an exact reward for our meager deeds, but we dont complain that that is not fair. The recompense of evil is evil i believe. Wh does it make sense for unbelievers to be in hell forever? Because they had the intention to disbelieve forever. Does God owe them jannah for not even bothering to thank him for their eyes, ears, abioity to talk, speak, good food…?

    When a person hands us a pack of tissues,we say thankyou or no? The person does not need thanksl but the person thanking or not thanking…their act says something about their character.

    Anyhow i simply invite u to listen to the tafsir i pointed u above, guidance is in God’s hands. U have the choice to accept or refuse. He guides whom He wills and misguides whom He Wills and He misguides only those who are fasiqoon.

    Ask God sincerely for the truth and dont hold preconceived notions.

    • I did not approach islam with pre-conceived notions. You have no idea how hard i have tried to believe in islam…. and how much practicing I have been. I know about Noman, he is a sharp minded intellectual. I have listened to some of his tafseer. but there are certain things in Quran that are discrete… no tafseer can change it.
      I love my mom and i loved God more than that. But there is a fundamental difference between the two. That is… my mother won’t put molten metal in my ear if i listen to music, she won’t melt my guts by pouring boiling water in my stomach, she won’t torture me endlessly in fire and filth if I refuse to express my gratitude for what she did for me. and you know why? because she is far more compassionate, loving and caring than God. She loves me unconditionally, she doesn’t threaten me to believe in her, she doesn’t ask me to kill people who insult (read blaspheme) her or her philosophy (read religion) on life.
      But I understand if you dont get this.. Look from an outside perspective and then try to justify Islam

  2. respected friend… my transition was not that discrete, I have been through lot of phases. I have been in your shoes where I believed that Muhammads marriage was completely understandable according to the customs of that time. To answer this question, one has to first agree on the fact that marrying a 9yr old is completely wrong (at least in current times if u insist). Now, the problem is that muslims still consider Muhammad to be an exemplary human and role model till eternity, regardless of time, custom or culture… and thats why they still defend this awful thing he did. But if you ask some muslim if he will give his 9yr old daughter in marriage to someone, you will certainly get a negative reply… because inside, all muslims know… its an abhorring act by all standards.
    If God wanted Muhammad to be an example for all times, He would not have let that happen. But on the contrary, he vaguely approved marriage to pre-pubescent girls in Quran 65:4.
    Do me a favor, just try to imagine a 52yr old man enjoying a bath with a 9year old… and then try to defend it

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